Professeur Simbo

Several months ago, I discovered a small slip of paper in my mailbox, the kind that looks like it was printed out on an ink jet and cut into squares by hand. We receive an inordinate amount of junk mail from local vendors, restaurants, Pizza Hut, and plumbers, but this particular solicitation appeared to be of another league, if not another realm.

Professeur Simbo, "Grand Medium, Voyant," was offering his psychic services, and if this DYI advert indicated a questionable level of professionalism, at least his passion for solving intimate problems superseded his marketing budget. Indeed:

"Vous qui souffrez d'une séparation, vous qui voulez un homme ou une femme, vous qui souhaitez le retour rapide de l'être aimé, vous qui voulez mettre votre couple à l'abri des risques éventuels d'une rupture, vous voulez savoir l'avenir pour mieux vivre le présent, et avoir de la chance dans vos affaires, commerce, finance et jeux. Le Pr. Simbo grâce à ses travaux occultes infaillibles et sa clairvoyance héréditaire, résoudra à jamais vos problèmes."

Good deal, right? With a "don exceptionnel," Professeur Simbo is available every day from 8h to 21h (we're in France, remember - even in sweatshops these hours are unheard of), and ready to come to me if my issues are preventing me from leaving my apartment.

Let me know if you want his digits.


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Comments

R-M said…
I'll have to add this to the "to do" list the next time I come to Paris...does the good professor offer seances as well?
Aralena said…
Definitely. I also see tropical fish in your future visit...
Anonymous said…
I once bought airline tockets to Europe from a guy like that, in a seedy hotel room in Times Square, and was told to leave the money now, and pick up my ticket from a man in a trenchcoat at the airport departure zero hour. His farewell words were, "Speak to nobody", hissed in a gravelly Austrian accent.
Pop
Aralena said…
Pop, you just gave me an idea for a business venture.

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